Dancer – Suburban Beach Gypsy

December 18, 2017 ~ 7seasonsago ~ Leave a comment

Dancer She was on the run. Traveling as fast as she could, she had taken a job on the other side of the country. Two weeks from now (at forty-seven years old) she would start her new position as the VP of Science at a Biotech start up and planned to be busy forgetting everyone she used to know. Not that she had much choice. Six months earlier she had diagnosed herself with frontotemporal dementia. Dr. Claudette Deering was on the run from herself.

Two years ago she had started to notice changes in her mood. At first it seemed a euphoric second youth had taken her. Everything was more intense. Food had more flavor. Music moved her like a school girl. Even colors had more depth – like poetry. However, the science part of her had started to calculate the changes and was busy translating the behavior in to symptoms – symptoms that were familiar to her as a doctor. A small part of her brain had quietly started documenting her behavior flagging them for her conscience mind. She started keeping a journal of her days, her interactions, and behaviors.

When she felt she had enough evidence, she had her suspicions confirmed by a colleague under the pretense of seeking advice for a patient. FTD, her friend, colleague, and fellow neurologist had confirmed. “The last item you shared confirmed it for me. I would have to see the patient for myself to make a formal diagnosis, but this clearly shows the patient’s lack of empathy and loss of interpersonal skills.” The last item had also confirmed it for Claudette. It was the recounting of a moment she had experienced with an employee of hers. She had been talking to the employee and while they were speaking she had picked up a picture on the employees desk to examine it and then had started to poke holes in the faces with a pin she had freed the photograph from that had kept the picture attached to the employees pin board.

Later that day, while she was updating her journal, she had recalled the incident. While she was not upset by her behavior, she did understand that this was proof she had been looking for.

There was no use seeking a second opinion formally and having herself subjected to a battery of tests. The doctor was sure to revoke her license immediately and start the process towards putting her on long term disability. She would then be pressured to give power of attorney to her closest relative – in this case her daughter. Her life as she knew it would be over. As a neurologist she was well aware of the changes she was going to face and the loss of freedom that would come with them. She was determined to make the most of the small time she had to still be her.

She had found a new job in a field unrelated to her expertise and had promptly moved across the country. No one would be able to track her decline. No one would be able to call her out on loss of knowledge. No one would be able to observe a dramatic change in behavior; because… no one would know her.

Tonight she was still free. She sat under the starry sky on the tailgate of her Chevrolet Suburban watching the fire she had made at her camp near Bodega Bay in California. The beach was about 20 miles from Santa Rosa – the city of her new job. Her condo didn’t close escrow until a week from now and her new career would start a week after. For seven days she would enjoy the anonymousness of being a suburban beach gypsy. For the first time in her life, she was unconcerned about what would happen next. She did not have a daughter to raise, she did not have patients to attend to, she did not have a board to answer to. Ironically, with everything going for her, she didn’t have much of a future. She was living in the moment. She spun around in glorious abandonment.

“Nice moves”, she heard from a voice in the dark. A young man entered the perimeter of her light with a banjo in hand. “There is a drum circle tonight at the beach in celebration of Mistress Luna”, he said pointing at the full moon gracing the sky. “Care to join me?”

Claudette briefly wondered how much of the night cover had disguised her age. But she felt young, impulsive, and carefree – all symptoms of her disease her mind amusedly reminded her. “I would love to” she replied.

Carabinieri – Fancy Dress

December 6, 2017 ~ 7seasonsago ~ 5 Comments

A light was on in the living room which was why Dr. Zain Uddin Khan found himself peering in through the pocket doors that separated it from the dining room on his way to a fancy dress party. He and two friends were going as a sort of Italian three musketeers in fancy dress Carabinieri uniforms. He had worn this costume once before and had been delighted to find out that it offended people as at first glance it was mistaken for a Nazi uniform. Not that he was sympathetic to the detestable Nazi dogma but he occasionally enjoyed putting people on edge. It was satisfying to sporadically turn the tables.

As a Muslim doctor who worked tirelessly for the community, there was a constant expectation that he take the higher ground in the face of relentless insensitivity and sometimes downright discrimination. The costume represented a sort of social rebellion. It called people out on their ignorance and highlighted the ultimate outcome of ignorance.

As he peered into the unusually illuminated room, he saw the culprit curled up on the couch. It was his son home from his adventures as a street urchin. The fog had swept in to chill the evening and so Zain tucked his son Kyle in with the luxurious sitting room throw – placed neatly in the room for just such an occasion. He stopped to admire his son in that warm paternal way known only to fathers which starts with a tingle in the head and scalp and moves slowly down the spine.

He wished he would stop this street performing nonsense and go back to school, but he understood why he did not. In his last year of high school a hysterical girl had overheard a chance statement by a momentarily frustrated Kyle said with the drama and exaggeration of youth. “I’m going to blow this place up”.

Apparently this had been enough to activate the powers of Home Land Security and as Kyle had recently turned 18 they had apprehended him and incarcerated him and then proceeded to raid Dr. Khan’s house. Thank God years of being detained at customs for hours on end when returning to his country from foreign lands was a routine experience he had accustomed himself to. It had trained him to remain calm through the whole humiliating crisis. While the best lawyers that money could provide had sorted the authorities out within the week, the damage had been done.

In interviews from now on, how was he to honestly answer the question “have you ever been arrested”? Was he to tell the truth and say “Yes, I was mistakenly taken for a terrorist once but the charges were dropped and my record expunged”. While this statement was certainly a conversation starter, it wasn’t the sort of thing that put you at the top of any desirable list. Was his son to learn to lie? What was his moral obligation?

Zain still hoped that his son would find himself. His mother might have found a way to fix it, he thought assuredly. While her death had allowed him to live a life and explore a part of himself he probably wouldn’t have, he missed her acutely right now.

Doctors – The Doctor will see you now

November 18, 2017December 1, 2017 ~ 7seasonsago ~ Leave a comment

Ryan walked into the office of the anesthesiologist, Dr. Kahn, still high from securing a date with Taura. He was a great believer in kismet. Seeing her twice in 24 hours had convinced him to seize the moment. He had asked her to go to coffee with him when they saw each other again at the register of the flower shop after just running into each other over forget-me-nots.

He still remembered the first time he had seen her. It was at a club that Thomas had taken him to. They were in the disco section and “Got to be Real” was booming through the speaker system. She was dancing on a box in a mini-dress. The hem of her skirt was coming undone on the same side that one of her thigh high boots was being held together by a safety pin. With the thump of the music urging her on and the spotlights crisscrossing through the dancers (as if looking for her), at that moment, she was the most glamourous thing he had seen in real life. Thomas had noticed the same undoing-s and had remarked “poor thing, she’s falling apart”. “Hot”, Ryan had agreed.

As the nightclub had been a gay one, he had assumed she was a transsexual or at least a drag queen (she had been too hot to be a girl) and he had been sad for days after – wishing she weren’t a boy. A few days later he had run into her again at a coffee shop and was standing behind her as she gave her order. He had been relieved that there was nothing manly about her voice. It had come out pure glorious female.

She had seemed surprised at first when he asked her to coffee at the register of the flower shop. As a soap opera star he was used to that. It was harder than you would think for him to get a date with a quality woman. Then he remembered that the last person she had seen him with was Marie at the flamenco competition. Whom, he remembered with amusement had not even had the slightest inkling of his celebrity and had treated him like a side kick instead of the romantic lead he actually was… all evening long.

“Oh,” he said quickly with a little embarrassment “if you are worried about that woman from last night, that was just a friend of Thomas’ that stopped by unannounced. There’s nothing happening there.” He explained with the help of some hand gestures.

“Oh,” she countered “Where’s Thomas?” she asked.

“He took a gig and will be gone for a few months.”

“You must be… sad?” she asked with curiosity that seemed odd but that he couldn’t quite place.

“Not really, he’s a great friend, but it’s nice to have a place to myself. I have a roommate in Los Angeles as well – that’s where I work you know.” Taura had declined coffee but had given him her number inquiring whether he enjoyed croissants or not. She had heard of a new bakery where the croissants were supposed to be their signature bake.

“I have plans this weekend, but I’m free Monday.” Coincidentally, so was he. He didn’t have to be back in LA until Wednesday.

Ryan felt like he was skipping all the way to Dr. Khan’s office. Dr. Khan and Thomas had dated briefly but long enough for Ryan and him to become friends. Ryan played a Doctor on TV and Dr. Khan was one. He was always giving Ryan advice on how to realistically portray surgery. That’s why he was here today. He had some questions.

When the receptionist came to get him, he wanted to confess that he had a bad case of love and needed to stay in bed all weekend, but it seemed inappropriate.

“The Doctor will see you now” she said.